Who are you?... Really, who are you?

"When we are stressed, fightened, worried, anxious or sad... that is when our true character comes out."

One of my friends posted this as their facebook status last week, and it really struck a cord in the back of my mind.

Who ARE we? I mean, really? Who are we?

When we see other people, all we see is who they portray themselves as. Sometimes that portrayl can be very cautiously displayed. And that portrayl will pop up when one's life is calm, controlled and collected. When things are well, our minds relax. But does that mean when our minds relax that we are more ourselves or less ourselves? One could argue both ways. I mean, when I'm relaxed, I find it easier to be myself. But I also find it easier to display the best side of me when I am relaxed. So what side am I really showing?

Secondly...
Do we really know who we are? Like a diamond with so many sides that reflect light so many different ways, our personalities sparkle in different ways depending on the light of the situation. So how can we know what aspects are true of us? I'm positive that there are things in my personality that I always am, such as patient and giving, but I'm not so sure about some sides of my personailty, such as wacky and reserved. Each side of one's personality will shine differently depending on our attitudes, our companions, and our situationss.

There are always those days you wake up, and just know that the day is going to be different. Sometimes you just reach consciousness with a different mindset, one that is either foul and 'not you', or one that is a clear shield, prepared to push through all the bullshit to get to nirvana. Your attitude is your approach to all you do, whether it's brushing your teeth or dealing with work stress. It seems our attitude towards other people/objects directly affects how we represent ourselves. Our attitude reflects different sides of our personality, such as the ugly side, or the calm and collected side. The giving and patient side will come out one day, and the wacky and outgoing side will come out the next. Either way, our attitude directly changes how we portray ourselves, and it changes from day to day.

Ever notice how with some friends, you are the quiet and reserved one, and yet with others, it is you who is knocking back the tequila while standing on the table? I do believe that our companions shape our daily personality as much as we ourselves do. I've always strived to keep relationships going that feel very giving and open, but at the same time don't portray me as something I'm not. I have many very close friends as a result. When I'm with all of these close people, I feel like myself and not a stranger. I've always strived for that in my love relationships. It's important that you feel like you are your actual self when you are with the one you love. I'm lucky enough to have that. The people we surround ourselves with will always have a direct result on who we show ourselves as.

Just like different lights and angles affect the view of a diamond, so do situations we're dropped into affect who we are displayed as. If one is dropped in a high stress, high anxiety, high fear situation, our defenses of attitude and friends are stripped away. It just leaves the core of our minds: the very centre of who we are. But if we are in a safe environment, with the mental comforts we crave, such as friends and family and some objects, there is too much static standing between who we really are and those who can see it. Some could argue that safe environment would cause us to let down our defenses, but I argue in return that having the safety there makes us cocky: we act out of who we really are because we feel secure enough to do so. That's all well and good, I suppose, as we crave that kind of freedom to be and do what we want. But likewise, I think we also crave the kind of courage to just stand alone and just be.

Imagine being stripped away of all you know and love. Imagine being stripped of your mental and physical masks. Imagine standing before your Maker with only yourself in your simplest form. Imagine being free to express yourself without fear of judgement, or hurt, or rejection. It's eternal and perfect acceptance.

That is what heaven would be like. True acceptance, perfect acceptance, eternal acceptance. Acceptance and contentment that we cannot comprehend, let alone attain on this plane of existance.

To find that true core is so hard. One does not simply throw themselves into that dire of a situations to test who they truly are at heart. To experience that physical pain, emotional hurt, and mental stress just to say we know who we really are is not what we as the human race typically seek.

So how can we find who we truly are? We need to stick by those that make us feel relaxed and like ourselves. Those friends that shape us into something we are not will not get us very far in life. We need to seek God and ask him to be our attitude through all situations. And we need to stop doing before thinking. We need to stop automatically picking up our masks and using them instead of ourselves.

Sounds hard, eh? I was thinking the same. But we need to stop feeling pressure to fit in, to ignore judgement and fear of rejection and just be ourselves.


"When we are stressed, frightened, worried, anxious, or sad... that is when our true character comes out."

So who are we really when we're scared, stressed, frightened, worried or anxious? Really, I think we're all the same. Human beings. Those that put that pressure of judgement and rejection on us are just the same as us? Human beings. Those that we're close to and love dearly? Human beings. At the very core, we're all just that: humans, with the ability to love, to show compassion, and to show pain in different and unique ways.

Bottom line is that we all need to cut the bullshit and just be ourselves. And we shouldn't have to be stressed frightened, worried, anxious or sad to show who we really are.



xo
<3

(was just some musings. don't take it too seriously)

So... It's been a while... This is awkward....

I was in the midst of serious work yesterday at my day job, when I suddenly looked up and said "Crap, I have not updated the blog in almost a month". I got a few mildly disturbed stares as I walked off to write myself a sticky note to rectify the situation.

So where have I been? Well, for a time in September I was across the pond in fabulous England on holiday. To summarize:

Yes, I had a wonderful time, thank you for asking.

No, I did not pick up the accent.

Yes, I saw London and Cambridge.

No, I did not meet the Queen and have tea with her.

Yes, I would go back again.

No, I did not drive on the other side of the road there (or drive at all) and almost kill people.

If you have the money and opportunity to go to England for a vacation, I'd highly recommend it. 10 days was not nearly enough to see everything. I'd recommend at least two weeks if you can swing it. Also, I don't recommend going if you're American. They will eat you alive (I got off okay, since I'm Canadian).

The sights are beautifully old and stately, yet homey and welcoming. The food was fantastic. Not good for me, but damn, did it taste wonderful. And the people... The people are just amazing. If there is one thing other than my boyfriend that I miss most from England, it would be the people. They're so welcoming, kind, upfront and honest, and fun to hang out with. Yes, you did get teased a bit, but you just return it in good nature. It's part of breaking the ice, really. I met many of my boyfriend's wonderful friends and family, and I miss them all dearly.

Thank goodness for Facebook, eh?

Anyways, aside from fabulous England, I've just been overwhelmingly busy with my day job. Overtime, training others, etc. And my night job is no different. Everyone expects the heroine on her toes at all times...

>_>

I'll just leave it at that.

xo <3